Rising Above the Blues

http://www.lds.org/new-era/2002/04/rising-above-the-blues?lang=eng

Rising Above the Blues

by Shanna Ghaznavi

For anyone suffering from depression, there is hope, there is help, there is healing. Here’s where to find them.22944_000_011When people told Melissa* to snap out of it, it only made her feel worse.

She would try but would still wake up the next day feeling awful. “I didn’t know what to do. I would sleep the day away because I felt totally worthless.”“I didn’t even realize I was depressed,” she says. “I didn’t even think to turn to my Heavenly Father for help.”She also didn’t want to talk to her mom about what she was feeling. “I thought my mom would not like me for opening up and letting her know I was hurting. But once I talked to her she was really supportive, and I needed that.”

When Melissa was 14, her mom took her to a doctor. “At first I thought, No way! I don’t need a counselor. I’m fine! But I guess I wasn’t fine. When you’re depressed you don’t really realize there’s something wrong with you. And when you finally do recognize it, you’re so immune to it that it’s hard to deal with.”

Melissa has been in counseling for more than a year, and she looks forward to her once-a-week therapy sessions now. She’s glad she decided to get help. “I didn’t think I would ever need help. I didn’t think I would ever go through the things I went through. After a while I finally realized I needed to get down on my knees and ask for help.

And that help came. I turned to my scriptures more often, and there would always be something there I needed to hear.”

Melissa has suffered a lot because of depression, but she feels her reactions to her trials have made her into a better person. “When I say a prayer I thank Heavenly Father for my challenges because they make me stronger and they strengthen my testimony and help me grow closer to Him.”

But I’m a teenager!

Ups and downs are completely normal if you’re a teenager—but you already know that. Your mood can change daily or even hourly. So how can you know if you or someone you know is suffering from depression, and not just adolescent highs and lows? How can you tell if what you’re feeling is the effect of passing clouds or of long-term darkness?Some of the symptoms of depression are persistent sadness, lack of energy, and suicidal thoughts. You might not enjoy many of the things you used to, and daily tasks might seem overwhelming (see sidebar, page 31). Although the same factors cause depression in both sexes, boys and girls tend to react differently to the same problems. Boys often act out in many cases, through violence, substance abuse, or getting into other kinds of trouble. Girls tend to become sad and withdraw socially, emotionally, or both. Each person will have a different combination of symptoms.There is no one cause for depression. Chemical imbalances, heredity, certain styles of thinking, and environment could all be factors leading to this common health problem. Fortunately, it is also generally very treatable.More than five percent of teens in the United States experience some form of depression each year, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. It can affect you emotionally as well as physically and spiritually. Many of the feelings of peace and calm usually associated with the Holy Spirit are hard to feel if you are depressed.Get helpAlthough depression is limiting in many ways, you always have the choice to ask for help. “You can’t do it on your own, you need help,” Melissa says. “The longer you hold [your problem] in, the worse it will be.”“It does not mean you’re crazy. It does not mean you’re bad,” says Dorann Mitchell, a clinical social worker who also works with LDS Family Services. “Sometimes you just can’t get out of it. If you can’t talk yourself out of something, that’s okay. But that means you should seek out the things that can help you. … Sometimes you can’t pray it away.” Sister Mitchell suggests using all the help available to you.“We all need help from other people at different times, and that certainly fits with the gospel,” Sister Mitchell says.The most important step to recovery, and probably the hardest, is to actually seek help. It might not seem that there’s a way out—or that things will ever change—but those hopeless feelings are an illusion created by the depression. Those feelings can be overcome if you take that first step of seeking help.Treatments for depression often involve a combination of therapy and antidepressant medications. It is important not to self-medicate. Turning to herbal or natural supplements before going to a doctor is dangerous to your health. And you already know substance abuse is definitely not the answer to any problem.God is there“There were times when I felt like my prayers were not being answered. I was frustrated,” says Anna, 17, who’s in treatment for depression.Anna was doing everything she was supposed to. Her life was in line with the gospel. So why didn’t Anna think she was getting an answer?Sometimes depression can make it harder to feel the comfort of the Holy Ghost, even when you haven’t done anything wrong. Anna says she realizes now that God does love her and that He was with her all along; but she just couldn’t feel Him there. “I know now that He’s there to help and that I can pray to Him or just talk to Him.”Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve has said, “If you seek His help, be sure your life is clean, your motives are worthy, and you’re willing to do what He asks—for He will answer your prayers. … He loves you perfectly and wants to help you” (Ensign, Nov. 1989, 32).Attitude can make all the difference, too, says Becky, who’s also being treated for depression. “Your attitude definitely changes the way you feel,” even though there’s only so much you can do on your own when you have depression.We cannot avoid adversity, says Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve. “The only question is how we will react to it. Will our adversities be stumbling blocks or stepping-stones? … Like the mortal life of which they are a part, adversities are temporary. What is permanent is what we become by the way we react to them. Our adversities can be the means of obtaining blessings unobtainable without them” (Ensign, July 1998, 7, 9).Things are still not easy for Melissa, Becky, and Anna. But since they have turned to the Lord and requested help from other sources as well, they are doing much better, and they now feel their lives are worth living. Becky says, “Even if you feel like no one else has ever gone through this, Jesus Christ has. He has felt every single thing.”The Savior was “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: … Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: … and with his stripes we are healed” (Isa. 53:3–5). No matter how you get help, ultimate healing will always come from the Savior. He will ease your burdens. His gospel is a gospel of peace and hope. Never doubt that He wants you to be happy.Symptoms of depressionNot everyone will experience the same depressive symptoms, but one or a combination of the following symptoms should be a warning. Prolonged (longer than two weeks) and severe symptoms are a sign that you need to ask for help. Some of the most common symptoms of depression are:•A persistent sad, anxious, or empty feeling•Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism•Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness•Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy•Decreased energy or increased fatigue•Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions•Trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting up•Appetite change and/or weight loss or gain•Restlessness and irritability•Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, stomachaches, or other chronic pain•Thoughts of death or suicide(National Institute of Mental Health)[Hold on]“There is help. There is happiness.

There really is light at the end of the tunnel. It is the Light of the World, the Bright and Morning Star, the light that is endless, that can never be darkened (see John 8:12). It is the very Son of God Himself. …

“To any who may be struggling to see that light and find that hope, I say: Hold on. Keep trying. God loves you. Things will improve. Christ comes to you in His ‘more excellent ministry’ (Heb. 8:6) with a future of better promises. He is your ‘high priest of good things to come’” (Heb. 9:11)

(Ensign, Nov. 1999, 36).

—Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Clearing up some misconceptions

Depression is real. There are many misconceptions about depression. Here are a few of the falsehoods you might have heard, along with the truth about this serious mental condition:

False: All teenagers are moody. They don’t have real depression.

True: People of any age can suffer from depression. While it is true that the teen years bring many ups and downs, those who suffer from prolonged depression have a very real health problem.

False: Teens who say they’re depressed just need to snap out of it.

True: That’s like telling someone to perform surgery on himself. Depression is not a phase. It is a serious illness. Those who suffer from depression should see a doctor to find out how to begin treatment.

False: Telling someone that your friend is depressed is betraying a trust.

True: A real friend would do his best to make sure his friend gets help. Depression takes away motivation, and your friend might not recognize that he or she needs help or care about getting help.

It’s up to you to be a good friend.

Help a friend

If you have a friend who is depressed, offer your support, patience, and encouragement.

Remember, people with depression can’t just snap out of a low mood.

And never ignore talk of suicide or any other signals your friend might be giving you. Tell a trusted adult or doctor about your friend’s threats immediately.

Not all suicidal teens will behave in the same way, but here are some signs that your friend needs help, and fast:

•They want to be alone all the time.

•They are moody and irritable.

•Their personality has changed abruptly.

•They are using drugs or alcohol.

•They are sleeping too much or not enough.

•They are giving their possessions away.

•They have talked about suicide or wanting to die.What you can do to help yourself

•Pray whenever you need help and comfort.

•Read the scriptures and other uplifting books.

•Listen to uplifting music.

•Ask for a priesthood blessing.

•Serve others. You have a lot to offer.

•Spend time with your family and friends. Let them help you.

•Eat healthily.

•Exercise regularly.

•Be patient. You’ll improve gradually once you seek treatment.

•Talk to a friend.

•Try to break negative thought patterns.

•Prioritize what you need to do, and set realistic goals on a schedule you can handle.

•Start a worthwhile hobby to get your mind off things.

•Keep a journal.

•Get help from:Your parentsYour bishop or youth leaderLDS Family ServicesA school counselorYour family doctorLocal crisis lines (Check your phone book for listings under “mental health,” “health,” “social services,” or “crisis intervention services”).

Suggestions for the Loved ones of someone who suffers from Depression

http://mentalhealthlibrary.info/library/dep/deplds/source/support.htm


Suggestions for the Loved ones of someone
who suffers from Depression -By someone who suffers-

I have been asked by Bishop Johnson to talk about depression and
specifically to the support people who are trying to aid and help a person with
depression. I approach this topic with humility and pray that my remarks will be
clear and concise. I would also ask the congregation to strive to invite the
spirit of the Lord to be here because at the end of the day that is what really
counts anyway.

"When I had
journeyed half of our life’s way,
I found myself
within a shadowed forest,
For I had lost the path that does
not stray.
Ah, it is hard to speak of what it
was,
That savage forest, dense and
difficult,
Which even in recall renews my
fear:
So bitter--death is hardly more
severe!"

The things that I say will mainly be
based around personal experience and scriptural understanding. I would like to
start off by defining the way I will be referring to depression in this talk.

Depression is a difficult thing to define because everyone experiences the
emotions of happiness and sadness. In that sense, depression can be considered
something universal. The depression I'm going to discuss is called "clinical"
depression. This is the depression of breakdowns, and disability. For this talk
to be effective it is important for me to be able to communicate to you what
depression is. It is almost indescribable and can be, at times impossible to
relay in language. The best descriptions of clinical depression that I have
found come from writers.

Andrew
Solomon describes depression:
"Depression is the flaw in love. To
be creatures who love we must be creatures who can despair at what we lose, and
depression is the mechanism of that despair. When it comes, it degrades oneself
and ultimately eclipses the capacity to give or receive affection. It is the
aloneness within us made manifest, and it destroys not only connection to others
but also the ability to be peacefully alone with one self. Depression is grief
out of proportion to circumstance. It can be best described in metaphor and
allegory"

Another writer, William Styron
writes:

"What I had begun to discover is
that mysteriously and in ways that are totally remote from normal experience the
grey and drizzle of horror induced by depression takes on the quality of
physical pain. But it is not an immediately identifiable pain like that of a
broken limb. It may be more accurate to say that despair, owing to some evil
trick played upon the sick brain or the inhabiting psyche, comes to resemble the
diabolical discomfort of being imprisoned in a fiercely overheated room. And
because no breeze stirs this cauldron, because there is no escape from this
smothering confinement, it is entirely natural that the victim begins to think
ceaselessly of oblivion. One does not abandon even briefly one's bed of nails
but is attached to it wherever one goes. The sufferer finds himself a walking
casualty of war, thrust into the most intolerable social and family situations.
There he must, despite the anguish devouring his brain, present a face
approximating the one that is associated with ordinary events and companionship.
He must try to utter small talk, and be responsive to questions, knowingly nod
and frown, and (heaven forbid) even smile. But it is a fierce trial attempting
to speak a few simple words."

I have felt this many times. Many
days before I gave this talk I have been apprehensive about whether I would be
healthy enough to stand before you and be responsive and sociable. It is
difficult to rely on yourself when you never can predict which self will emerge
on any given day.

Finally, in
Job we read:
Job 7:20, 3:20-22. What shall I do
unto thee, 0 thou preserver of men? Why hast thou set me as a mark against thee,
so that I am a burden to myself?
Wherefore is light given to him that
is in misery, and life unto the bitter in soul; Which long for death, but it
cometh not; dig for it more than for hid treasures; Which rejoice exceedingly,
and are glad, when they can find the grave?

These men describe depression and
some of the effects that it has on a person. In my opinion it is one of the most
difficult afflictions a person can suffer in this life. Given that, I offer a
few ideas to consider when dealing with a person suffering from depression.
Following those ideas I will offer a few suggestions as to how a person in the
support group can help.

The first thing to consider is that
the person who is suffering from severe depression is not acting like
themselves. I will say this again, The first thing to consider is that the
person who is suffering from severe depression is not acting like themselves. I
have heard the analogy of an oak tree which grows from the ground. At a certain
point in time, a vine begins growing up the oak tree. In time this vine starts
to overtake the oak tree and smothers the leaves that are naturally occurring
from the tree. From a distance an observer could not tell the difference between
the the leaves of the tree and the leaves of the vine. From a closer view you
can see that the vine is actually overtaking the tree and there would be very
few tree leaves left. In like manner, depression can erode a persons psyche so
that from a distance they look like themselves, but in reality they are
overtaken by the disease of depression. This observation is critical for the
support person to understand.

The second idea which I think is
helpful to consider is that of agency. In Mormon theology agency is considered
to be, or at least talked about as, the one thing that God has given everyone,
that it is sacred and Lucifer does not have power to abrogate it. This concept
is true. I repeat, this concept is true. However, in many instances there are
limitations to this agency.

When a person is suffering from a brain a disease it
affects the way they think. Thus, it logically follows that this altered
thinking is not the volition and will of the person himself. A simpler, less
opaque example than depression is one of dementia. The demented person does not
necessarily think and act in a way that is completely controlled by his will.

The illness of depression is similar.

People around depressives expect
them to get themselves together. Our society has little room for moping.
Spouses, parents, children, and friends are all subject to being brought down
themselves and nobody wants to be close to measureless pain.

This idea that agency can be
abrogated is very scary for many Latter Day Saints. People like to make sense of
their world. If they are presented with a situation that could challenge their
idea of agency their world would not make sense. To use an analogy, if the laws
of physics were to be suddenly changed so that if we dropped a ball, instead of
falling down, it rose up we would probably be unnerved a little.

I would like to share a brief
example from my mission. As a missionary, I was taught that if you were
completely obedient and kept every jot and tittle of the law that you would be
happy. Many people are familiar with the statement from Ezra Taft Benson about
work.
"One of the greatest secrets of
missionary work, is work. If a missionary works, he will get the spirit, if he
gets the spirit, he will teach by the spirit, and if he teaches by the spirit,
he will touch the hearts of the people and he will be happy. There will be no
homesickness, no worrying about families, for all times, talents, and energies
will be centered on the work of the ministry. That's the secret. Work, work,
work, there is no satisfactory substitute, especially in missionary
work."

A person with depression can follow
strict rules, work hard, and still suffer intolerably. Keeping these concepts in
mind, I offer six suggestions for the support person when trying to help the
depressive.

The number one thing that you can do
and if there is anything to be gained from this talk is this:

You must surrender all
judgments about the victims' character. The depression sufferer will be beaten
down enough by society that you do not need to add insult to injury by
challenging his or her character.

The world's view of people with problems is,
"They created their bed, let them lie in it." There is nothing of Christ in that
attitude.

The depression sufferer at times feels like they are drowning in the
ocean. The support person who is calling to them might say, "Keep your chin up,"
or "If you would just swim harder."

What the support person on the shore cannot
see are the invisible chains and shackles underneath the water chaining the
depressive, which is preventing him from swimming to shore.

Most often the drowning person cannot communicate this to the person on the shore.
Therefore it
is vital that the support person listens carefully and to not misinterpret a
statement of, I can't do that," to mean "I won't do that." Feeling safe with a
person who is non judgmental is probably one of the greatest keys to recovery in
depression.

The second
suggestion:
Do not pressure the depressive as it
relates to the time of their recovery and wellness. Depression can last for
months and even years "You know not the day, nor the hour" when recovery will
come.

This does not mean you should stand by idly waiting. It means to not place
expectations on the person's recovery. Many times the depressive will feel they
are disappointing the members of their support group or loved one who is
supporting them. Therefore, added pressure for them to recover actually adds
another catalyst for them feeling hopeless and helpless.

In my life, the greatest gift I
wanted to give my parents was to be happy myself. I realized at a young age that
what they really wanted was for me to be happy and healthy. It added great
pressure and broke my heart to be unable to give them my happiness and validate
their excellent parenting and substantial sacrifices.

The third
suggestion:

Educate yourself about the illness
so you can be able to separate fact from fiction. Depression can be a "garbage
bag" diagnosis and there is much misnomer out there. Educating yourself about
depression within the medical and psychological communities will prove very
helpful.

The fourth
suggestion:

The fourth suggestion that I would
make which may seem counter intuitive, is this:

Do not dive too deeply into
religious worshipping during the worst of their depression. This does not mean
you abandon Christ's gospel. Many times the depressive is suffering so deeply,
has perfectionism and their efforts are driven to extremes with religious
orientation.

The danger of this is that a person can break their testimony or
faith without fully grasping the true nature of their affliction. Again,
remember that a depressed person is not necessarily thinking with a healthy mind
and remember the analogy I gave from my mission. Working harder, praying harder
and fasting too long, can sometimes be counterproductive in this
case.

The fifth
suggestion:

Know that it is not your love that
is flawed. Many times the support people feel guilty and have mixed feelings
regarding the suffering of their loved one. This can be very difficult to do.

My wife has dealt with this with me. If I feel depressed she can think and feel
that it is something she has done when in reality, she hasn't done anything.
Remember to take time to take care for yourself. If you are run down and
exhausted you may be vulnerable to being drawn into the downward spiral of
despair, as well.

The sixth
suggestion:

Provide opportunities for the
depressive to be in nature and in uplifting environments. Time, sunshine, and
safety are very therapeutic for persons suffering with depression. They are not
necessarily cured by these things but they can help mitigate the
suffering.

I wanted to end this talk with a
couple of poems. One is an excerpt nom Lord Byron which for me describes how I
feel when I am in pain:

But silent let me sink to earth
With no officious mourners near
I would not mar one hour of mirth,
Nor startle friendship with a
fear.
"Aye, but to die, and go," alas!
Where all have gone, and all must
go!
To be the nothing that I
was
Ere born to life and living
woe!
Count o'er the joys thane hours have
seen,
Count o'er thy days from anguish
free,
And know, whatever thou hast been,
'Tis something better not to
be.

Sometimes I
might feel this way and may give in to total despair but I pray unceasingly to
have the faith of Job.

Job 19:25-26 For I know that my
redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: and
though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God:
Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not
another.

Jesus Christ has descended below
all. During my darkest moments, I can relate to Christ when he felt like the
Father had forsaken him. I am comforted by the words of Isaiah, and I try to
remember that the agony I feel is just that, agony not reality.

Isaiah 49:15-16 "Can a woman forget
her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?
Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee
upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."

Finally, I want to end with my
favorite poem. It is important to the caregiver because as caregivers of
depressives we need to be able to see through the illusion of illness with our
spiritual eyes and remember that the Lord looketh upon the heart.

Touch of the Masters Hand

Twas battered and scared, and the auctioneerThought it
scarcely worth his whileTo waste much time on the old violin,But he held
it up with a smile."What am I bidden, good folks," he cried,"Who'll
start bidding for me?A dollar, a dollar - now who"ll make it two _Two
dollars, and who"ll make it three?
"Three dollars once, three dollars twice,Going for three". .
. but no!From the room far back a gray-haired manCame forward and picked
up the bow;Then wiping the dust from the old violin,And tightening up
the strings,He played a melody, pure and sweet,As sweet as an angel
sings.
The music ceased and the auctioneerWith a voice that was
quiet and low,Said: "What am I bidden for the old violin?"And he held it
up with the bow;"A thousand dollars - and who'll make it two?Two
thousand - and who'll make it three?Three thousand once, three thousand
twiceAnd going - and gone," said he.
The people cheered, but some of them cried,"We do not quite
understand -What changed its worth?" The man replied:"The touch of the
masters hand."And many a man with life out of tune,And battered and torn
with sin,Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd.Much like the old
violin.
A "mess of pottage," a glass of wine,A game and he travels
on,He's going once, and going twice -He's going - and almost
gone!But the MASTER comes, and the foolish crowd,Never can quite
understand,The worth of a soul, and the change that's wroughtBy the
touch of the MASTER'S
hand.

Comments from Suicide: Elder Russell M. Ballard’s article on suicide in the October 1987

http://www.lds.org/ensign/1988/03/comment?lang=eng&query=chemical+imbalance+support

Suicide
Elder Russell M. Ballard’s article on suicide in the October 1987 issue of the Ensign struck home.

My sister committed suicide in 1974, and although I saw what it did to my parents, I, too, often thought of taking my own life.For years I suffered an undiagnosed chemical imbalance that sent my emotions on a roller-coaster ride at the slightest change of mood.

Even after I was diagnosed, I still had moments of despair that led to thoughts of taking my life. Still, I knew it was wrong, and I seriously tried to consider the ramifications of what I was considering.It was then that I began to ask the Lord:

“How can I bear this existence? Where can I find peace?”

I pleaded for months with him to call me home. I reasoned that if he would take me, I could find comfort beyond the veil but not be responsible for committing suicide. I explained this to him over and over.Finally, I received an answer to my prayers.

I did not hear a voice or see a vision, but following a priesthood blessing I felt a peace encompass me that gave me the knowledge I needed to continue living: Although my Heavenly Father loves me very much and looks forward to my being with him again, my life was not yet to be over. He needed me here. And to help me, he gave me a gift.

Whenever my moods plunge me into such a despair that death seems enviable, the peace and warmth I experienced following that priesthood blessing return and guide me through my dark and troubled time.I have a testimony now more than ever of our Father’s deep love for each of us.

No problem is too trivial to bring before him. I am eternally grateful for his patience with me as I continue to struggle to appreciate this life.

Name Withheld

As a mother whose teenage son tried to take his life a few months ago, I would like to support some of the things Elder Ballard said in his article on suicide.From what my son has told me, it wasn’t any one thing that led him to attempt suicide. Because of low self-esteem and the struggle he was having with school, he despaired at succeeding in life.

A mission was out of the question, in his mind, because he felt he could never learn to teach the gospel. When he tried to communicate these fears, no one really listened. We told him it was his duty to go on a mission and simply assured him he could do it.

These high expectations only added to his fear.His fear was compounded by loneliness. For a while, we lived in an area where there was no one our son’s age for him to associate with (another source of stress), but since he was a quiet boy, we didn’t worry.The experience has taught me some lessons I would like to share with other parents. Let your children know they are important to you.

Praise them for their accomplishments, no matter how small. Let them know they aren’t expected to be perfect, that some failures are a normal part of mortal life.If someone talks to you about taking his or her life, don’t ignore it. Talk to him. Let him feel that someone cares, and then get help—from a hospital, from a family crisis center, from the health department, from the police, from the Church.The main message I would give to parents is to listen to your children.

Try to feel what they are feeling. Ask questions so you really hear what they are saying. This takes time, but time may be running out for your child. You may not have another chance. I thank our Father in Heaven for another chance with my son.

Name Withheld

Myths about Mental Illness By Elder Alexander B. Morrison

(My comments on this article)...

I really like this article but I would like to add a few
comments of my own.

Number 3 below, although I do agree with his assessment that
bishops and other spiritual leaders are usually not professionally trained in
how to treat a BCD condition (they call it mental illness) there are still a
lot of things the bishop and other spiritual leaders as well as ward members
CAN do to help.

First of all, learn about the BCD that the person suffers
from; Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar, etc., become educated about what it really
is and what it really isn’t.

Don’t be afraid to ask the person about their condition.
Have them tell you about what they experience. Have an open dialog with them as
far as what they are comfortable to share.

Be a good listener. Most of us don’t expect you to solve our
problems. We just need to know that you care. Being a listener is one of the
best ways you can help us.

Don’t judge. Just like anybody, we do not like being judged
for our lives and choices. We are trying to be good people, just like most
everybody else.

You do not need to try solve our problems or find answers
for us or cures. Even professional councilors cannot cure us (yet) all they can
do is help us and teach us ways to live with our medical condition, just like a
diabetic needs to learn how to manage their sugar level.

Don’t jump to conclusions, don’t assume, don’t be
condescending, don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Treat us like normal people, because we are! We just want a “normal”
life.

Don’t be afraid of us. If we need to talk, please listen, be
a friend, we can never have too many.

In number 4 I wish he would have phrased it, “persons with
mental illness” rather than, “the mentally ill.” That just brings up pictures
of negative stigma to me. We are not “mental” or “crazy” or even “ill.” No more
than a diabetic is a “pancreas ill” person – or “insulin ill” person. It is
more accurate to call it a brain chemistry deficiency or BCD because it is a
physical malfunction of chemical production, not a state of “being crazy.”

When he talks about “Let us help those in pain” please
observe that he councils us to have empathy, not pity for the person. We do not
need you to “feel sorry” for us, just accept us the way we are and be ok with
that.

Remember, because this disease affects the brain, which is
the organ that controls our thoughts, feelings and emotions, be patient with us
when our condition flairs up and causes these things to come out a little
strongly at times. Forgive us of our weaknesses.
We just need to feel loved, just like everybody else.

-Shauna






http://www.lds.org/ensign/2005/10/myths-about-mental-illness?lang=eng


Myths about Mental Illness
By Elder Alexander B. MorrisonOf the Seventy

Increasing our understanding of mental illness helps us reach out with love and compassion to those who are suffering.25910_000_009In the Book of Mormon we read that the Nephites, who had been obedient to God’s laws, “lived after the manner of happiness” (2 Ne. 5:27). What a wonderful and insightful thought: if we are obedient and follow God’s commandments, we will be happy.It is important to understand, however, that happiness does not imply the absence of adversity. Every individual experiences temptation, opposition, and trials that test faith and endurance: “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things” (2 Ne. 2:11).

Among the most painful trials an individual or family can face is that of mental illness. By mental illness I do not mean the temporary social and emotional concerns experienced as part of the normal wear and tear of living. Rather, I mean a disorder that causes mild to severe disturbances in thinking and behavior. If such disturbances are sufficiently severe and of sufficient duration, they may significantly impair a person’s ability to cope with life’s ordinary demands. These illnesses may even threaten life itself, as in severe depression, or be so debilitating that the sufferer is unable to function effectively.Though medical science has made marvelous progress in the past century in solving some of the mysteries of the brain, the truth is that knowledge in this complex area is still in its infancy. We still do not know exactly how the brain works nor exactly how and why parts of it may malfunction. One thing is certain, however: no individual, family, or group is immune from the effects of mental illness. Furthermore, we are learning that many mental illnesses result from chemical disorders in the brain, just as diabetes results from a chemical disorder in the pancreas. Why, then, is there still such misunderstanding and fear surrounding mental illness?
Myths and Misconceptions

Myths and misconceptions about mental illness unfortunately are found among Latter-day Saints just as they are in the general public. These harmful attitudes include the following:

1. All mental illness is caused by sin. Make no mistake about it—sin, the deliberate breaking of God’s commandments, does indeed result in behavior that is hurtful to self and to others. And for every transgression there must be a consequence or punishment. The demands of justice are inexorable, unless the person concerned invokes the power of the mercy provided by Christ’s Atonement by repenting of the sin and recognizing Christ as his Savior.The power of sin to harrow up the soul is vividly exemplified by the words of repentant Alma: “I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins.

… I was tormented with the pains of hell. … The very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror. Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body” (Alma 36:12–15).Those who, like Alma, experience sorrow during the repentance process are not mentally ill. If their sins are serious, they do require confession and counseling at the hands of their bishop. As part of his calling, each bishop receives special powers of discernment and wisdom. No mental health professional, regardless of his or her skill, can ever replace the role of a faithful bishop as he is guided by the Holy Ghost in assisting Church members to work through the pain, remorse, and depression associated with sin. That being said, however, it must be emphasized that in many instances aberrant thoughts, actions, and feelings result from mental illness and not from sin. They come from disease, not transgression. They are not God’s way of punishing the sinner. To assume they are is not only overly simplistic but also contrary to the teachings of the Church.The truth is that many faithful Latter-day Saints who live the commandments and honor their covenants experience struggles with mental illness or are required to deal with the intense pain and suffering of morally righteous but mentally ill family members. Their burdens—and they are many—can be lifted only by love, understanding, and acceptance.

2. Someone is to blame for mental illness. It is a common human tendency to blame others or oneself for whatever goes wrong in life. Many victims of mental illness wear themselves out emotionally by futile attempts to remember something they, their parents, or someone else might have done that resulted in their suffering. Some blame their problem on demonic possession. While there is no doubt that such has occurred, let us take care not to give the devil credit for everything that goes awry in the world! Generally speaking, the mentally ill do not need exorcism; they require treatment from skilled health-care providers and love, care, and support from everyone else.Most often, victims blame themselves. Many seem unable to rid themselves of terrible though undefined feelings that somehow, some way, they are the cause of their own pain—even when they are not. Parents, spouses, or other family members also often harrow up their minds trying futilely to determine where they went wrong. They pray over and over again for forgiveness when there is no evidence that they have anything of note to be forgiven of. Of course, in the vast majority of instances none of this works, for the simple reason that the victim’s thoughts and behavior result from disease processes which are not caused by the actions of others, including God.Ascribing blame for mental illness causes unnecessary suffering for all concerned and takes time and energy which would better be used to increase understanding of what actually is happening—to get a complete assessment and proper diagnosis of the illness involved, to understand the causes, to get proper medication and learn behavioral and cognitive techniques that are part of the healing process. As victims, loved ones, and all the rest of us increase our understanding, then patience, forgiveness, and empathy will replace denial, anger, and rejection.

3. All that people with mental illness need is a priesthood blessing. I am a great advocate of priesthood blessings. I know, from much personal experience, that they do inestimable good. I know too that final and complete healing of mental illness or any other disease comes through faith in Jesus Christ. In any and all circumstances, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, our lives will improve and become richer and more peaceful as we turn to Him. “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden,” He said. “… Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:28–30). He and only He has the healing balm of Gilead needed by all of God’s children.We must understand, however, without in any way denigrating the unique role of priesthood blessings, that ecclesiastical leaders are spiritual leaders and not mental health professionals. Most of them lack the professional skills and training to deal effectively with deep-seated mental illnesses and are well advised to seek competent professional assistance for those in their charge who are in need of it. Remember that God has given us wondrous knowledge and technology that can help us overcome grievous problems such as mental illness. Just as we would not hesitate to consult a physician about medical problems such as cancer, heart disease, or diabetes, so too we should not hesitate to obtain medical and other appropriate professional assistance in dealing with mental illness. When such assistance is sought, be careful to ensure, insofar as possible, that the health professional concerned follows practices and procedures which are compatible with gospel principles.

4. Mentally ill persons just lack willpower. There are some who mistakenly believe that the mentally ill just need to “snap out of it, show a little backbone, and get on with life.” Those who believe that way display a grievous lack of knowledge and compassion. The fact is that seriously mentally ill persons simply cannot, through an exercise of will, get out of the predicament they are in. They need help, encouragement, understanding, and love. Anyone who has ever witnessed the well-nigh unbearable pain of a severe panic attack knows full well that nobody would suffer that way if all that was needed was to show a little willpower. No one who has witnessed the almost indescribable sadness of a severely depressed person who perhaps can’t even get out of bed, who cries all day or retreats into hopeless apathy, or who tries to kill himself would ever think for a moment that mental illness is just a problem of willpower. We don’t say to persons with heart disease or cancer, “Just grow up and get over it.” Neither should we treat the mentally ill in such an uncompassionate and unhelpful way.

5. All mentally ill persons are dangerous and should be locked up. Sensational and incomplete media reports have conjured up stereotypical portrayals of the mentally ill as crazed and violent lunatics, dangerous to others as well as themselves. The truth is that the vast majority of people with mental illness are not violent, and the great majority of crimes of violence are not committed by persons who are mentally ill.1Furthermore, over the past 40 years, as effective medications for mental illness have become available and effective support programs have been developed, it has been shown that most mentally ill people—like those with physical illnesses—can live productive lives in their communities. They do not need to be locked up. Like everyone else, most mentally ill persons receiving proper treatment have the potential to work at any level in any profession, depending solely on their abilities, talents, experience, and motivation.

6. Mental illness doesn’t strike children and young people. As noted by the National Institute of Mental Health, the truth is that an estimated 10 percent of children in the United States suffer from a mental health disorder that disrupts their functioning at home, in school, or in the community.2 The majority of children who kill themselves are profoundly depressed, and most parents did not recognize that depression until it was too late. I reiterate: no one is immune to mental illness.

7. Whatever the cause, mental illness is untreatable. As mentioned, during the past 40 years numerous medications have been developed by the multinational pharmaceutical industry. These products have proven of inestimable worth to millions. They are not perfect, nor do they work effectively in every instance—far from it, unfortunately. But we are getting closer to the day when physicians will have available effective drugs which are specific in correcting the biochemical lesions concerned, without the side effects which too often limit the effectiveness of medications today. I have no doubt that such developments, which we are already beginning to see, will result in striking advances in the treatment of mental illness over the next decade.

Let Us Help Those in Pain

I hope these few thoughts about some of the myths surrounding mental illness can help us build understanding and rid ourselves of stigma and bias about this important problem. With knowledge and understanding come love, acceptance, empathy, and enfoldment. May God bless us to love all His children, to abandon none, and to lift up and strengthen those suffering and in pain.
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